We Need to Talk :: “What did you Say?”
Proverbs 18:21
We all know the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." But if we’re honest, we know that’s not true. Words can wound deeply or build-up, restore, and heal. Every word you speak carries weight—whether in casual conversation, on social media, or in a text. Why? Because God created us as relational beings who communicate, one of our most incredible powers is our ability to speak. This week, we will talk about how words profoundly influence lives, relationships, and even destinies.
1. What thought challenged you most this week as you considered Pastor James’ message?
2. Read Proverbs 18:21, which says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” What are some real-life examples that illustrate the truth of this verse?
3. Pastor James said, “You can’t talk about what you don’t have and expect to be grateful for what you do have. With your words, you either bless or curse your future.” How can we recognize when we are using our speech for selfish motives, and what steps can we take to correct that?
4. Read Proverbs 16:24. One of the most transformative things we can do in any relationship is express appreciation. How can we cultivate a heart that speaks more appreciation and less criticism, complaints, or gossip? Here are three examples:
• Wives, instead of nagging, find things to brag about your husbands.
• Husbands, instead of not noticing, notice and compliment
• Parents, instead of just being critical, praise them for what is right.
5. An interesting observation states, "we assume appreciation but express criticism.” What are your thoughts on this? What can be done to turn that around?
6. Read Proverbs 11:11: "Through the blessing of the upright a city is exalted, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed." When you speak negatively; you will always live in Destruction. Do you enjoy being around people who are always negative? What do you like about being around people who always encourage you? How does that change your life?
7. Read Proverbs 27:5–6. We must strike a balance: truth without love is harsh, but love without truth is shallow. What do these verses have to say about speaking truth in love?
8. Read Romans 1:11-12. Paul recognized the need for mutual encouragement. Faith is not meant to be lived out in isolation; we need to speak into each other’s lives, especially when our faith feels weak. Can you share a time when someone encouraged you and your faith? Why is this so important in our families?
9. Read Proverbs 12:18 “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Notice the contrast between the two types of speech: reckless words that wound and wise words that heal. Wisdom here means knowing the right things to say and having the discernment to speak in ways that build up, restore, and encourage. It’s not about putting a filter on your mouth. You need to change your heart. How can you encourage each other to seek heart change in this area?
10. Read Luke 6:45. If we want our words to change—to speak life, healing, and blessing instead of brokenness, dysfunction, or hurt—we must first allow God to change our hearts. Real transformation starts from the inside out. Take some time to pray for each other, ask God to start changing your heart.