We need to Talk…You have baggage
5 Toxic Traits That Destroy Relationships
Genesis 2:18-25, Genesis 3:7-13
Every family has struggles because every family has issues. Whether we like it or not, we all carry baggage from our past into our present relationships. The patterns we observed growing up, the wounds we’ve endured, and the unresolved conflicts we’ve tried to bury—they all resurface, often when we least expect it. This baggage doesn’t just sit passively in our lives; This week, we will discuss how it actively shapes how we interact with others, particularly in our closest relationships.
1. What point or thought resonated with you as you listened to this week’s sermon?
2. Read Genesis 2:18-25. How does understanding God's original design for relationships help us recognize and address the baggage we carry into our relationships today?
Pastor James shared the top five dysfunctional traits that we bring into relationships:
3. Self-Centeredness: In the scriptures Pastor James shared, he pointed out that the issue was not that Eve was now looking at Adam but that Eve was looking at Eve, and Adam was looking at Adam. In what ways have you seen self-centeredness impact your relationships, either in yourself or others? How does focusing on God's will help combat this toxic trait?
4. Shame: The immediate consequence of sin was shame. Shame often causes us to cover up parts of ourselves to keep it from others. How has shame affected your ability to be open and vulnerable in your relationships?
5. Many times, shame leads us to blame ourselves for our parents' inadequacies or for being mistreated or ignored. Have you seen this surface in your life or the life of someone around you (be careful not to share specific names)? Why does shame push us to hide or misrepresent parts of our lives?
6. Fear: Read Genesis 3:8-10. Fear can lead to avoidance and breakdowns in communication. How did Adam respond when he was fearful? Can you identify a time when fear caused you to distance yourself from someone? What steps can you take to overcome this fear by dealing with it instead of hiding from it?
7. Blame: Read Genesis 3:11-13. Who did Adam blame for his sin? Who did Eve blame for her sin? When things go wrong, it's easy to shift blame onto others. How has blaming others instead of taking responsibility created division in your relationships? How can you work towards taking ownership of your actions?
8. Control: Read Genesis 3:16. Rather than reflecting a partnership based on mutual respect and love, this verse reveals how sin introduced a struggle for power and control into relationships. The desire to control can stem from fear and insecurity. How has your need to control situations or people affected the trust and respect in your relationships?
9. Read Matthew 11:28. Jesus is saying, “I’m going to take what has been holding you back so that you can find healing and flourish in your relationships.” Jesus came and took your sin, your baggage. He saw your dysfunction, and He stretched out on a cross so that everything that your family has tied to you could be cut off, and you could be released. How can embracing Jesus' rest and freedom guide you in this process?