Drop comparing yourself to others.
1 Samuel 18:5-15
This week, our discussion will focus on the dangers of defining one's worth through external validation and comparison with others. We will discuss where we seek affirmation and worth. We will talk about the fact that what or whom we look to for validation shapes the direction of our lives. Pastor James explained that everyone seeks affirmation and purpose, a desire that is ingrained in human nature and designed by God. However, he warns against the trap of seeking worth through achievements, other people's opinions, or societal measures of success.
1. What stood out to you in the message this week?
2. The following question might be difficult for some people to answer. This question is at least important to meditate on for a few moments. Please share your honest answer if you can. Where do you look to prove your worth?
3. Read 1 Samuel 18:5–9. It’s clear to see that Saul was jealous of David and what he had accomplished. Comparison is a silent killer. It steals our joy and undermines our relationships. It destroys every good thing we have because we can’t enjoy it. If you were Saul’s closest friend, how would you have advised him to navigate through the situation?
4. Read 1 Samuel 18:14–15. It only took a few verses for Saul to spiral. He went from being very angry and keeping an eye on David to something much worse. What do these verses say about Saul’s state of mind? Was it reasonable for Saul to feel this way?
Pastor James made some observations about Comparison; they are as follows:
Comparison makes you resent what others have.
5. Comparison creates within us this growing envy. The first sign of envy is you can never appreciate what someone else has. Why can’t we celebrate the good God is doing in our lives when we resent how God has chosen to bless others?
Comparison makes you critical of what you have.
6. Read Proverbs 14:30: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." If we look at others and want more, it eats away at us, slowly corrupting every part of our lives. How do envy and jealousy rob us of peace and launch us into a downward spiral?
7. Read Ecclesiastes 6:9: "Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have." Colossians 3:15: "Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts…always be thankful." What do these verses have to say about being grateful for how God has blessed you?
Comparison makes you insecure about who you are.
8. Read Hebrews 12:1-2. Your worth is found in Christ’s worthiness. When we fix our eyes on the worth of Christ and what he has called us to do, everything changes. Can you share a time when you felt like a failure after comparing yourself to someone else's accomplishments?
9. What does insecurity say about our heart towards God? What do the previous verses teach us about overcoming insecurity?
Pastor James’ Sermon Notes:
Drop Comparing Yourself to Others
1 Samuel 18:5-15
Where do you look to prove your worth?
(1 Samuel 18:5) “Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was so successful that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the troops, and Saul’s officers as well.
• (1 Samuel 18:6-7) “When the men were returning home after David had killed the Philistine, the women came out from all the towns of Israel to meet King Saul with singing and dancing, with joyful songs and with timbrels and lyres. 7 As they danced, they sang: “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands.”
• (1 Samuel 18:8) “Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly.”
• (1 Samuel 18:8-9) “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands. What more can he get but the kingdom?” 9 And from that time on Saul kept a close eye on David."
• (1 Samuel 18:14–15) "14 In everything David did he had great success, because the LORD was with him. 15 When Saul saw how successful he was, he was afraid of him."
• (Proverbs 14:30) "30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."
Comparison makes you resent what others have.
• (1 Samuel 18:8 NIV) "8 Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly. “They have credited David with tens of thousands,” he thought, “but me with only thousands.
Comparison makes you critical of what you have.
• (1 Samuel 18:8 NIV) "8 Saul was very angry; this refrain displeased him greatly…What more can he get but the kingdom?”"
• (Ecclesiastes 6:9 NLT) "9 Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have."
• (Colossians 3:15 NLT) "15 Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts…always be thankful."
Comparison makes you insecure about who you are.
• (1 Samuel 18:15) "When Saul saw how successful he was, he was afraid of him."
• (Hebrews 12:1) "1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,"
• (Hebrews 12:2) "2 fixing our eyes on ______.”
• (Hebrews 12:2) "2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”
I don’t have to prove who I am because I know whose I am.