Just like any relationship, it requires work. Friendships don’t simply blossom overnight; they take constant effort and 3 main things that I have found to be very useful in my relationships with friends. You have to lean on each other, learn from each other, and listen to each other.
If you are anything like me, it is sometimes hard to lean on others and open up to them. I have a fear of opening up and getting hurt. But with my friends, I have learned that once I begin to let them in and lean on them I have more support than I could ever imagine. I have learned that it is okay to ask for prayer from my friends when I’m not okay, I’ve learned to ask for help during the busy seasons, and I’ve also learned to allow myself to lean on them emotionally. Thessalonians 5:11 says “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” This verse resonates with me because it’s not a one-way street, it’s a two-way street. If I want to encourage and build up those around me, I need to be able to let them do the same for me. I can’t tell you the number of times I have called a friend hurting, and I don’t say anything about what I am going through, but because that friend knows me so well, all she has to do is ask me how I am really feeling, and I will immediately start sobbing. Leaning on others isn’t always easy, but when we begin to lean on our friends, those friendships will grow even deeper.
Learn from your friends. Each one of my friends is walking through a different season of life at the moment. I have some friends who are married and just bought a house, I have friends who just had a baby, I have friends who are still in college working towards their careers, and even though I am not in any one of those seasons right now it doesn’t mean that I can’t learn from them. It doesn’t mean I can’t have conversations with them about those seasons and help them through those seasons. Who’s to say that I won’t walk through a similar season later on in life? If I learn from my friends now, I might be able to walk through that season with more confidence because I know someone has gone through that same season, and if they can make it through so can I. So, as your friendships grow so do you, and in these seasons of growing learn from one another and don’t write off those moments simply because you aren’t walking in that season.
Lastly, listen to your friends. The Lord placed them in your life for a reason and one hard part of being a friend is telling them something they might not want to hear. Friends will speak into your life and we have to make sure that we are actively listening. Another way to listen to your friends is to allow them to talk about what they are walking through. I cannot tell you how many times I have talked to my friends about the same issue over and over again and not once did that friend ever ask me to stop talking about that issue or tell me to simply get over it. Every single time I brought it up she would respond with grace and she would listen to me. She would say “I know you feel this way and I’m sorry it hurts you still, I am here for you.” Sometimes the simple response of someone saying they are here for you and mean it, is more helpful than any advice they could give. Listen to your friends, talk with them, check in with them, and love them.
Proverbs 27:9 says, “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul” and I couldn’t agree more. My friendships are my most prized possessions, and I wouldn’t change them for the world. But they also take work. Life gets busy and in those busy moments, I will text a friend saying I miss them, it’s short but it still shows up for them even when I can’t see them physically. I will still reach out to them when I know they have something big coming up, that’s just what friends do. Friends lean on each other, they learn from each other, and they listen to each other. I want to encourage you right now to reach out to that friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, send an encouraging text to a friend, and be spontaneous. Your friend doesn’t need to hear you’re proud of them whenever they do something monumental, take heart in the little things, and don’t waste a single moment.
Here at Journey Church, we exist to connect you to Christ, Community, and your Calling. I highly encourage you to get connected with those around you. Having a community of Christ followers at your side has been one of the most influential pieces of my life, mostly the people in my Life Group. I’ve cried with them, I’ve laughed with them, and I’ve even shared some past hurt and trauma with them and it was hard. But in the end, the best days of the week are those that I get to spend with people from my life group, my community. For more information on groups head over to journeyconnect.org/groups.