Pastor John always says, “We should be surprised, but not shocked.” This is especially true as we watch kids and teenagers grow up in a world that often feels upside down. From school hallways and cafeteria tables to social media feeds, kids are inevitably exposed to the reality of evil, suffering, and confusion. No matter how carefully we try to shield them. As parents, it’s not a matter of if they’ll encounter hard things, but when.
So how do we respond? How do we prepare their hearts without overwhelming them? How do we equip them to process grief, destruction, and division through the lens of truth and hope? This conversation isn’t easy—but it’s necessary. And as parents, you have the privilege and responsibility to shape the scriptural narrative that helps our children make sense of a broken world while clinging to the goodness of God.
How do you talk to your kids about why bad things happen?
- Start with Prayer
As parents, you have the privilege of shaping the hearts and minds of your children and their view of God. Pray and ask God *regularly* for wisdom to teach and guide your children. God’s Word promises that if we lack wisdom, He will give it generously, if we ask for it. (James 1:5)
- Use God’s Word
Start in Genesis 3 to establish that there is an enemy who is working hard every single day to convince us to doubt God and to turn away from what He says is best. We see this is the Garden of Eden when Satan tempts Adam and Eve and where Eve decides to listen to the serpent instead of God and brought sin into the world. Destruction and death entered the world, and it is still here to this day. But God promised to bring redemption, hope and restoration for the world through His son, Jesus Christ.
Talk through Ephesians 6:10-20 and share that we face an enemy, but God has taught us how to withstand evil and to remain standing firm in faith.
- Keep it Age-Appropriate and Widen the Circle
It’s important to remember to keep in mind the age of your kids with what they can handle and understand when communicating hard things. Don’t be afraid to ask for wisdom from parents who have gone before you and navigated similar topics.
Something we are always talking about at our church, is widening the circle of influence for your children. Allow other trusted leaders and mentors to speak into your kids lives that would say the same thing you would. Sometimes, kids hearing the truth from someone other than their parents for it to click.
- Leverage the “small” moments
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” God’s Word highlights the importance of leveraging the small moments; the school pick-up line, the dinner table, the bedtime routine to share the Gospel with your kids.
You don’t have to wait for sickness, death and destruction to show up to begin to share the truth of God’s Word and the reality of our world with your kids.
- Pray with your kids
Pray with your kids about the things that are on their hearts and minds. Pray for the things they are facing and seeing right now and pray for the things they haven’t faced yet. Ask God to calm their mind and body as they might be feeling fear or anxiety. (Isaiah 41:10) Pray that they would have an increased sensitivity to what is true and what is not. Pray that they would love God first, above all things in life.
There isn’t always a way to wrap your answers in a perfect bow. But, when hard things happen in our lives or around us, we can fix our eyes our Savior, Jesus and look forward with faith and hope.
